A simple act of kindness

I did something the other day that I don't usually do. I introduced myself to someone who had been in the music business both locally and internationally, and told her how much I enjoyed her music and missed hearing it (she hasn't been singing in a while). It happened in a local coffee shop and we were both alone. Of course, while I was buying my coffee, the mental debate was going on... "how silly would I look?" "she'd think I was a total fruitcake" "would she be a typical celebrity and snub me off"... So I sweetened my coffee and walked toward the door...and stopped. Guess what happened? Stay tuned!

Everyday we are faced with opportunities to pass on a little kindness - sincere, genuine kindness. The spoken word is a powerful thing. Think about the last time someone said something to you and hurt your feelings. It stayed with you, didn't it? What about the last time you heard something that made you feel good about yourself? Did it stay with you as long as the hurt?

Young children are very good at expressing random acts of kindness. Four year olds will look at you (and not necessarily your own!) and tell you they love you just for sitting with them and colouring a picture or passing them a bowl of cheesies. They will tell you that You are the best You they ever had. As we get older, this happens less and less. Sad, but true.

Recently I learned of another example of kind words being spoken - from two 40+ men. One of their wives was joking at how ridiculous the guys are when they get together as they are always saying how great the other one is. But as she was telling me this, she was laughing. Hearing the story, I couldn't help but smile. As corny and silly as it may be to watch, the positive energy flowing from these guys even spilled into a discussion about them months later. This is so rare, yet refreshing.

Sincere spoken kindness is difficult to find, and even more difficult to initiate. But trust me, the rewards are priceless. As for my "singer" experience, well, I took a few steps back...turned to this person and told her how I felt. And she was flattered, really, sincerely flattered. She smiled and thanked me for my kind words. I left the coffee shop smiling to myself, knowing that I made another person feel good about themselves. And the only people who witnessed it were each other. We didn't share e-mail addresses or phone numbers, I didn't become her new friend on facebook, I just succeeded in passing on a little kindness in a world where there just doesn't seem to be enough of it going around....guilty as charged.

My wish for you is that someone will be kind to you, or you will be kind to another person, for no other reason then to experience how good it feels. Remember, the beauty of a smile is not only seeing the smile, but knowing that you are the reason behind it...
Karen

Letting go of the Outcome!

So it's 4:20am, I am wide awake and have been for about an hour. (I wrote this post in a notebook as I knew that if I turned on my computer there would be NO chance of sleep coming)! What is usually a pattern of recurrent insommnia I have had since childhood is also fueled by anxiety and worry over something in my life over which I have little to no control. One of the most difficult concepts I have yet to grasp is to "Let go of the Outcome"!

Letting Go of the Outome or LGTO (I am a lazy typer) was introduced to me by a new friend (www.paulmichaelwhite.com ). From what I have learned so far (and no doubt with much more to come) is LGTO occurs when you let your mind rest and the chips fall where they may. Simple as that (so why is it so hard???!!!) Because no matter how much energy you spend engulfed in worry about what will happen, SOMETHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN...regardless of your anxiety level. I have practiced LGTO on one very important decision, and as hard as it was to let go, I did. I did not allow myself to worry, and the outcome occured without any mental intervention on my part! It was difficult, but worth it!

Now LGTO does NOT mean sitting back on your couch saying, "that's it, not doing anything, que sera sera, whatever will be will be and it will all come to me". To receive the desired outcome, you must first do everything that you possible can to influence or effect the inevitiable result. Whether it is selling a house, getting a new job, starting or ending a relationship, you first have to prepare the foundation: the desired outcome does not fall into your lap without preparation or action on your end. That being said, however, there comes a point in the process where you have to say, "That's it, I'm done, there is nothing more I can do and it is now in the hands of the "Otcome Gods"! Then let go. Let go of the worry, anxiety, negative thoughts...just think, wouldn't your energy be better spent creating a new outcome, rather than worrying about something that you now have little or no control over? The result may be good or bad - the outcome will not always be what you want. But I believe that everything happens for a reason - we just are not always privy to what that reason is when it happens.

LGTO is still an ongoing struggle for me, and will continue to be as I move through this process. I am a constant worrier - and have been told many times that worrying is like rocking in a rocking chair, keeps you busy but gets you nowhere! So true.

My wish for you is that in some aspect of your life, you let go of the outcome and allow the result to come to you. Then take that energy you used to spend on worry and create something, laugh with your friends or family or just sit in peace - knowing that everything will eventually work out.

Karen

Greetings from the 'Spear'

July 5, 2009: My first trip to Cape Spear this year. Surprising, really, since I have spent so many hours here in the past - hours of sun, cloud, rain, freezing rain, and of course the never ending wind. Yet, as I walked to my usual perch, smelled the familiar scent of partridgeberry bushes, and heard the sound of the the ocean, I was welcomed back, and it was like I had never been away.

Life happens, we change: friends, lovers, homes, jobs...all change. Priorities shift, moods ebb and flow like the waves crashing against the rocks. But as I sit and look out over the ocean, I am met with the same rocks, the same waves, the same seabirds. The wind enveloping me in the comfortable coolness that can only be found by the Atlantic ocean. Today, just when I felt the need for the comfort of the familiar in my life full of changes, I found it. My little niche in nature.

I was grateful that it wasn't cold today. There have been times when the raging sea and fierce cold air were a perfect match for my mood. Those days when I needed to feel the power of the something bigger than whatever rage or black mood that enveloped me, this place did not disappoint.

Sometimes when we feel that we are at a crossroads in life, or just faced with what seems like insurmountable difficultites, we are often told to go to our happy place. I disagree. While I do not dispute the need for a happy place, we also need a place where we can be unhappy, afraid, angry or just plain sad. I like to call it my "Control-Alt-Delete place". Where after the emotions have run their course, I feel cleansed, rejuvinated and able to think more clearly about the decisions I have to make or the issues I have to face. My spot to reboot is Cape Spear - where all the feelings seem to get swept up in the sea, crashed against the waves and returned to me in another form, another perspective.

Maybe this is what this blog will be for me too - another spot to reboot my mind's computer - and maybe it will do the same for you...who knows? And like Cape Spear, where a fox just magically appears out of nowhere, or a whale saluts me with his tale, I may surprise you with something to make you smile. This will be a growing experience for me, and I hope a little bit of entertainment for you...

My wish for you today - find your own Control-Alt-Delete Spot - your very own, for those times when you just need to restart the mind's computer to take on whatever challenge you face even if it is trying to decide on what to feed the in-laws tomorrow night!