Permission to Whine

A few of my friends are going through some pretty hard times right now. Between body pain and problems, leaky roofs and basements, job stress to the point of illness, sick parents, pets... Hard times all 'round.
This is life, these things are going to happen. And when they do, it is devastating. So we whine, and wonder why me, why now? I have so much on the go, this is not convenient for this to happen. And that's just it... tragedy never happens when we are ready for it. WE never get the opportunity to say, "Ok, unleash your wrath, I have a 2 day window with nothing going on so I can wallow in self pity".
In a perfect world...But life happens - we know that, and while sometimes expected, we are rarely 100% ready. So we deal with it, and move on.
Then there is the flip side of these tragedies. In the midst of our pity party, our "why me" "why now", we start to feel guilty. We think "it could have been worse, at least it wasn't an earthquake, hurricane, tsunami, crazed gunman..."
So here we are already feeling bad, and now we make ourselves feel worse. We accuse ourselves of being selfish because we are only thinking about our little world. Our little problems in the grand scheme of things are really that, little problems. And we are ashamed to be whining about it.
Well here is my message to you. Go ahead and whine. This is YOUR world! YOUR home! YOUR body! YOUR friends! YOUR family! YOUR pet! This is the life that YOU have worked so hard to create and nurture and be proud of, and when bad things happen to what you have...it is, well, bad.
It does not mean that you do not feel compassion for the tragedies of a huge global scale. On the contrary. I believe that you feel more because you understand personal tragedy.
My wish for you is that you give yourself permission to groan "why me?" "why now?". Let yourself feel bad for your tragedy and let go of the guilt. Because, face it, it sucks. Whine, have a pity party, then try and feel better. Hugs to all...

Many thanks... even though you get on my nerves...sometimes

So this week-end, many of us are voicing our thanks. We are thankful for our family, friends, family, pets, homes, basically all the blessings in our lives. We spent the time with full bellies, in cozy homes, surrounded by everything that makes us happy. Our good fortune is everywhere.

So today, in contrast to the gatherings happening around me, I found myself back in my spot to reboot: Cape Spear. So here I am, back where this all started, sitting on my bench, shivering, looking out over the water and thinking: Control-Alt-Delete. It's breezy, a little cold (I'm hoping to be able to read my writing due to a shivering hand). But it is a beautiful day, no rain, drizzle, fog. The sea is powerful, not angry, and just big enough so you don't mess with her. The waves crash against the rocks and I am reminded of our moods sometimes: sometimes gentle, sometimes rough, always changing.

I have to ask, why do I feel the need to reboot on a day when everyone is feeling thankful? It cannot mean that I am not appreciative of the many blessings in my life. On the contrary, I have many blessings in my life...

But today, I felt the need to come here to gain perspective. There are times when just the very people, pets, things, careers that we are thankful for, are the very same people, pets, things, careers that drive us nuts sometimes. We sit there and think why the heck do I even bother? How many times have we uttered the phrase "Enough, I am done!" I would be lying if I told you that the thought of living out my days in straw hut on a deserted island never looked better sometimes! It is difficult to be consistently positive in a world where we are bombarded by negativity and stress. It is hard not to take our frustrations out on those we love, for example. But that doesn’t mean we love them any less, or that we want our lives to be different.

We all feel that way from time to time. What we need to realize, is that the same passion we feel when we are frustrated, disappointed, pissed off, or just plain sad, is the same passion we feel in love, respect, friendship and happiness. It is not a cliché that we have to take the bad with the good, because without the bad, how will we recognize the good when we see it?

As we gaze around the dinner table, look around our houses, or just reflect on the years that have passed, my wish for you is to remember the reasons why you are devoted to everything that is important to you. And keep those feelings close, because like the waves, your mood will change, you will be angry, and you will be gentle… just like the waves, go with the flow. It doesn’t mean you love any less. It’s life: the good, the bad, and well, the beautiful AND the ugly…

Karen